Why I Let My Children See Me Cry
I know a few mothers who have never let their children see them cry. And I hold no judgement what-so-ever on this. If there is one thing I know for sure it is that there is such a thing as parenting completely differently, yet parenting equally. Meaning we can all parent with equal amounts of care and love but go about it in very different ways.
My children see me cry. They see me angry and worried. They see my husband and I argue sometimes too. I'm not saying it is ideal, I am saying that it's real. This is how it is. How life is.
Because although they see me upset at things, they also see how I work through it. When they over hear The Husband and I having a disagreement, they also hear us apologise to one another.
You see, I can sugar coat our lives for them and make it out as though I am always happy and that their father and I have the perfect relationship. But then I'd feel as though I am doing them a disservice. I want my children to know that it's okay to feel sad, angry, hurt, scared, stressed, or not getting along with someone all of the time. I don't want to set them up for life expecting it to always be sunshine... I certainly don't want to set up their future wives or husbands with this expectation either!
What we are aiming for is to be real. To show our children the full range of life's emotions and then show them how to deal with it all.
When my sons see me cry they often ask me what is wrong. And whilst I can't always put it into words that they'll understand, it opens up the opportunity for communication between us and they usually, very sweetly surprise me with their maturity and suggestions of how we can sort through the problem. Of course, if there were to be a serious concern or problem that would make them worry unnecessarily or become anxious, then I would be sure to keep it discreet.
At the end of the day, in our home, we can all relate to one another and feel comfortable expressing our emotions. It's not perfect, it doesn't always feel like a good thing or the 'right' thing, but it is how it is, and it is real.
