Not feeling good enough
I spend hours of my week scrolling through Instagram or Facebook feeds and whether I’m realising it at the time or not, I know it’s having a negative impact on my mental wellbeing. It’s affecting how I think of myself and my life - basically every aspect of it. There are articles screaming at me to either work more or work less, to either save more money or go on more holidays, parent more gently or parent with more discipline, lose weight, get implants, cheap Botox, whiten your teeth!!!!!
It feels less and less like a way to connect with people I rarely see and more and more of a distraction from actually living my life and actually having time to connect with the people who are right there beside me.
Everyone else’s highlight reels are swamping me and whilst I am happy for my friends and their successes I wish I had have heard about these successes over a cuppa or an email. Not interrupted with ads that scream at me.
More than this though, I just feel like a bad parent. Sometimes parenting feels neglectful and half arsed. Sometimes I am so distracted by my phone that I forget to look up and see my children being kind to one another or playing beautifully together. Sometimes I am so busy being yelled at by my phone that I yell and lose my patience over things that don’t deserve such a reaction.
More than this though, I just feel like a bad parent. Sometimes parenting feels neglectful and half arsed. Sometimes I am so distracted by my phone that I forget to look up and see my children being kind to one another or playing beautifully together. Sometimes I am so busy being yelled at by my phone that I yell and lose my patience over things that don’t deserve such a reaction.
Sometimes I just feel tired.
