10 Important Chats
There are some things I think we should all be talking to our children about. And as awkward as some of these conversations may be I believe each one to be ever so valuable.
I've broken it down into ten main things... not to be had all at once, but over time, when the moment feels right.
One: You are loved - Unconditionally. Not 'if' or 'when' or 'because' - Unconditionally. No.Matter.What. Remind them that it doesn't matter what they break, who they hurt, who they chose to love, what they chose to believe in, your love for them is unconditional.
Two: This is who you are - Tell you children about your family history, where you come from and where they fit in on the tree. Teach them things to identify with and discuss things you believe in and why. Sit and look at photos together - give them a strong sense of belonging.
Three: Values - What are our family values? Ask them what they value and why. What do we prioritise as a family? What is important to you and why?
Four: Sex - Talk to your children about sex. What it is. Why we have it. When to have it. How to have it. How to be safe. How to be a good, considerate partner.
Five: Money - How to save and budget and be money wise. Actually sit and go over stuff with them. This is something i'd love to see taught more in high school, but also at the end of the day it's our job as parents.
Six: Health - Perhaps the most important. Talk about physical and mental health. Ask them how they are. Check in often and be honest with how you are yourself as a parent. Teach them ways to look after their body and mind. Encourage them to find things that make them feel good and strong. Help them to understand that their health is one of the most important things they can invest in for themselves.
Seven: Coping with crap - Talk about death, bullying, disappointments and rejection. Talk about all these things in a way that helps them to understand that these challenges are all a part of life. Discuss things that may arise and ways they might overcome them. Remind them also who to turn to in these times.
Eight: Coping with crap people - An extension of the convo above. People can be shit. People can hurt you and let you down. Teach your children how to handle these situations and teach your children that it’s okay not to please everyone and not to be everyone's 'cup of tea'. Not everyone likes everyone. That is okay. Teach them how to create space from people who aren't meant for them and how to be themselves to attract the people who are.
Nine: Success vs Contentment - What does success look like? Is it the biggest house and most expensive car? Teach your children that success isn't awards and medals and money. Success may not even be happiness. Happiness is never constant...it isn't something to chase. It's okay to feel sad and to lose and to fail and to not be perfect. Perfection doesn't exist - tell you children this! Help them seek contentment instead.
Ten: The internet - My children are possibly teaching me more about this than me teaching them but I also know more about the big, wide world that is out there...not even 'out there' but right here, inside their phones, in our house, at school. I know about dangers that they may not even think about. I know what kind of people are out there. Be their parent... that's your job (they already have enough friends).
